Playing BCCI head honcho

Though I don't yet have a protruding belly like Pawar and nor do I have had Guthka in my life and neither can I be as corrupt as the BCCI honchos, I was wondering what would I have done if I was a BCCI honcho after the WC debacle.

No overnight miracles - First things first, nothing can be changed dramatically overnight as to start with, we are not a sports nation at all. We don't ahve a sports culture. Rarely do parents encourage their kids to be sportsperson. I faced the same when I was 12. I wanted to follow cricket professionally but I was told that I had to be a nice boy, study and go abroad. So, till the time our culture does not change, we will rarely be consistent champions in any sport.

Coach - They say that the coach needs to be changed. I would agree. Not because I feel Chappell has done any wrong but just because that he now can never work in peace in India with media and public unfairly baying for his blood. So, for his better, he has to go. The question comes, who replaces him. I feel the best person to replace him would be Robin Singh. He has played international cricket till recent past and he showed a cool, intelligent cricketing mind whenever he was in the middle. Yes, he might have problem dealing with prima donnas who started playing international cricket much before Robin but then, the prima donnas need to come back to earth after this debacle. Robin can be a very good mentor for the youngsters and a good fielding coach is what India badly needs which he doubles up as.

Captain - There is no need to change the captain until and unless captaincy starts taking a toll on his batting. India needs Dravid as a batsman more. The reason I feel no new captain is that we don't have 1 single young player who has a secure permanent side in the team. Sehwag, Yuvraj etc are themselves on wrong footing right now as far as their own performances are concerned.

Youngsters - Steve Waugh was given number of chances before he became a true world beater during 1987 WC. Same thing with Andrew Flintoff. Remember how Marvan Attapattu started? A long series of blobs and low scores. So, why should India not invest more in Raina, Utthapa, Pathan, Piyush Chawla? It's time, they are given a long run without seniors breathing over their neck. Sachin and Ganguly should retire from one day cricket as they are surely not playing the next World Cup.

Prima Donnas - We need a plain talkers like Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar to break the egos of some of our 'stars' like Sehwag, Yuvi, Dhoni. They need to be brought down for their own good.

20-20 Cricket - The 20 20 cricket is here to stay and this will dictate the way 50 over game is played too. We need more participation in these games.

Pitches - This is a demand which is older than Harappa now. We need to have good, sporting wickets. Let the spectators be disappointed if they don't see 600 runs in a day but we need wickets were bowlers have an equal chance too.

Media - Ban media from stupid over-exposure. All the old cricketers who are flocking the television studios should be given alternative employment so that they don't bore us with their idiotic comments. Imagine Kirti Azad talking about discipline. My boy, if you knew what discipline was, you would have played a lot more for India. Or imagine Sanjay Manjrekar talking about quick running between the wickets. Last time I heard him say that, I fell off my chair laughing.

And for the fans, well just go and enjoy the World Cup. I loved watching Aussies bat last night. Hayden was great but I am impressed again with Clarke. Some real class this lad has.

Last few days in Bangalore

The Bangalore stint nears completion. Last few days before I head back to Mumbai. Friends have organised a send-off party over the weekend, Will be sad saying goodbye to Tarun, Eva, Sage, Rajat, Archana, Tasneem, Madhu, Lavanya, Valli and few others. But then life has to go on and I will be connected in more ways than one with these people.

Ring tones and more

Rahul Dravid - Yeh kya hua, kaise hua, kyun hua, kab hua...

Amitabh Bachchan - Mujhko dekhogey yahaan par, mujhko paogey wahaan par, paste se lekar rajmaaaaa tak.... mein hi mein huun, mein hi mein huun, doosra koi nahin

Manmohan Singh - Jo unko (10 Janpath) ho pasand wahi baat kahengey, woh din ko agar raat kahe, raat kahengey

Kalyan Singh - Rama, Rama, Rama, Rama... kahaan gaya dhoondho saajan, rasta meri kursi ka

George Bush - Ooooooooooo Osaama rey, war ka mausam aaya....

Left Front (for Cong) - I wanna hold your hand, I wanna hold your hand.....

Ads, quotes and the meanings

The Bachchan ad for UP which says UP mein dum hain, Jurm yahaan kum hain - does it mean
We are capable of more (Nitharis), this is just the tip of iceberg

Pepsi ad - Ho ha India, aaya Indiaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The tune played by the welcome band at the airport

Rahul Gandhi saying - Babri would not have been demolished if Gandhi family was at helm
We would have kept the controversy alive so we get the Muslims votes while BJP gets Hindu votes

Kalyan Singh saying Ram Mandir will be constructed at any cost
Raam karein aisa ho jaye, CM ki kursi mohe mil jayein, mein baithu, baaki bhaad mein jayein

Sharad Pawar saying we shall have 2 teams India Seniors and India Blues
India seniors will use red as colour and will be sponsored by Coke while Blues will be sponsored by Pepsi.

Sachin saying I want to play 2011 World Cup
Another 3 year brand contract is up for grabs

Celebrating the loss of Indian Cricket Team

Am I happy???????? or am I super happy??????

Well, this will be the best thing to happen to Indian Cricket. I pray for more crushing defeats in times to come. So, am I the traitor? Am I to be hanged for treachery??

To the jingoistic cricket fans for whom Indian cricket teams and 'stars' (hahahahaha... ) are more important that the game or anything else for that matter, I might sound like a mad-India hater. And it is this whole clan that I love to hate specially since the day when thse guys prayed and later celebrated Indian wins in 1999 World Cup when their prayers were needed somewhere else i.e. for the soldiers fighting the Kargil War. I started hating Indian love for circket from that day. And more these guys fell prey to crass commercialisation, more I started laughing at them.

Am I a cricket fan? Yes, a huge one at that. But the difference is my love is for the game of cricket and not blindly for Indian Cricket Team. I believe that the game is mroe beautiful and bigger than any teams and for that matter, one who wins or loses is the one who deserves it. So I will applaud whoever plays the better cricket. This will explain why I love the way Australians play cricket. Hard but fair.

Coming back to the loss. I loved the sight of people shedding their hair off. This madness suits them and they possibly don't deserve any better in life than by swayed by 'paper Gods'. Just a few good batting eprformances by the same starts and they will be the demi-gods again but for the interim period, the guys who shed their hair have to walk in tremendous heat with sun hitting their bald pates. Did I hear sadistic pleasures? Hehehe...

I just pray and hope for more defeats so that the mind numbing craze for Indian cricket team is reduced and then we can have fans who love the game irrespective of who wins and loses. Follow the game in a way that it does not sway your emotions to extremes. Why have people dying just for a game?

I am betting my money on Australia again to win the World Cup. Final should be Australia v/s WI or SL.

Sadistic pleasure??????

2 things in last couple of weeks have given me tremendous sadistic pleasure.

One is that the Left is now openly naked
The so-called upholders of social justice, the fighters for the poor, the torch bearers of fairness are now out in the open as what they always have been - blood sucking dictators.

Well, I am defintely in favour of the SEZs and when West Bengal govt decided to push for reforms, I was pleasantly surprised. But what transpired later at Nandigram is for everyone to see. The so-called rightist and capitalist govts in other parts of the country have shown much more mature and humane approach to getting the land for SEZs while the Left has used power and terror to get it. The whole episode exposes the dirty stinking real sides of the Left and boy, am I not happy at the discomfort of the Left Front and also of their puppets in different NGOs who seem to have lost the art of protesting, shouting, PILing and using media. The silence of the so-caleld Social Activists and the hypocrisy of the Left Front hopefully will tell India the truth about these publicity hounds who have been hurdles in Indian development for a long long time.

A plea to cricket fans - ENUF IS ENUF

Many would be surprised seeing this kind of post from me, considering the fact I have actively played and followed the game since my childhood. Have had opportunities and pleasure to share drinks with many of the old time cricketers including from 83 WC Team.

But offlate, cricket is pissing me off specially if India is playing. And this has nothing to do with the way team plays but it has to do with the way Indians or shall I say people from Indian sub-continent follow the game. Come on, don't colour this game dirty with your jingoism. Not necessary that the team wins everytime. I hate it when people say they are cricket fans and abuse when their team loses. Well, then you are not a cricket fan, you are just a fan of your own team and possibly you know jackshit about this game.

Now that the extreme pressure and stress has taken one life and that of the great thinker Bob Woolmer, can all so called 'cricket fans' (your father in laws balls) just stop making this game dirty by their mindless jingoism.

Why are Leftists rarely right?

Scene 1 - Workers protesting against the management of the company they working for. Some elements get violent and management has to call cops who resort to lathicharge. This results in some injury. The leftists create a ruckus as if this was the most oppresive thing that happened this side of Suez in last few decades.

Scene 2 - Farmers protesting land acquistion. Police fires at protesting mobs and couple of them die. The ruling Left Govt does not even bat an eyelid.

What is it about Leftists that they are so shamelessly hypocritical? What is it about them that they might look or sound the most compassionate groups while the fact could be they would more oppresive in their regimes. Remember Stalin, Castro...? Is there someway or someone who can call these idiots bluff?

Why I crave for Mumbai

People ask me why I love Mumbai so much while I am in Bangalore and I am always at pains explaining them why Mumbai is pecial. That's maybe coz they don't see Mumbai the way I do. To explain what's different, I have only one thing in mind and that is last weekend, when I went to Mumbai, immediately after airport, the cab stopped at a signal and people were running ro cross the road before the vehicles start again. And the sight of people running or walking briskly was so common. This is what I love about Mumbai. Be you rich or poor, be you blue collared or white collared, you have to run. There is no inertia. There is no stopping.

For me, that symbolises life coz life too never stops and same way Mumbai too never stops

'His'story

Was checking some websites to look at the places I am planning to visit in April. Came across a place in Garhwal in Uttaranchal where Duryodhana (a villian as per Hindu Mythology) is worshipped. Now that would surprise a lot of people because as per history Duryodhana is to be hated not loved.

So, the crazy mind started trekking on different tangents. What he really a villian or was he shown as villian only because he lost the battle against his cousins? Similarily in recent history, would we have been taught different things about Hitler had he won the war? Is history nothing but a 'winner's account'?

What a Holi!!!!!

Friends made my 1st and last holi in Bangalore a memorable one!! I have thank all of them for making it such a riot. Natural colour made up of turmeric and gram flour. Then alcohol and thandi (traditional holi drink) flowed as adventure lovers tried the 'bhaang'. Music, dance, laughter, endless discussions (the classic one was about cutlet and omlette) and some high voltage philosophical gibberish.

It was indeed a trip as I was smashed and stoned the next morning.